A – Awesome, Amazing, Admirable, Accomplished
B – Brave, Beautiful, Bold, Brilliant
C – Caring, Confident, Creative, Clever
D – Delightful, Dazzling, Determined, Dedicated
E – Elegant, Empathetic, Energetic, Endearing
F – Friendly, Fascinating, Flawless, Forgiving
G – Generous, Gentle, Graceful, Genius
H – Happy, Honorable, Humble, Helpful
I – Independent, Intelligent, Inspirational, Insightful
J – Joyful, Just, Jovial, Jubilant
K – Kind, Keen, Knightly
L – Loving, Legendary, Loyal, Lovely
M – Meticulous, Merry, Majestic, Marvelous
N – Nice, Noble, Novel, Notable
O – Organized, Optimistic, Original, Outstanding
P – Pleasant, Pretty, Patient, Positive
Q – Quick, Quotable, Queenly, Quality
R – Regal, Resolute, Righteous, Responsible
S – Sensitive, Smart, Stunning, Self-Confident
T – Trustworthy, Thoughtful, Talented, Thorough
U – Unique, Uplifting, Unmistakable, Unwavering
V – Vivacious, Valiant, Vibrant, Valuable
W – Wise, Wonderful, Worthy, Warm
X – eXcellent, eXciting, eXemplary, eXuberant
Y – Youthful, Yielding, Yesable
Z – Zany, Zippy, Zesty, Zealous
Just some positive words when you can’t think of any. Everyone needs to hear good things about themselves. Even if it’s really hard, you can always (yes, always) find something nice to say about others.
And if you need to hear good things about yourself… well, say these things to yourself… out loud. Verbalizing good things about yourself makes them easier to believe. (Experience speaking here, folks.)
Now, I’m not going to be “preachy,” but I do want to share a favorite Bible verse and a very valuable lesson I learned about love many years ago… Mark 12:31 – The second is this. ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these. (NIV) (For full context, read Mark 12:28-34.)
In a preacher’s lesson I heard many years ago about this verse (summarized here), he stated that this verse says to love your neighbor. Ok… yes… that seems easy enough. Then he went on to explain that you should love them… as you love yourself. Then he asked questions like… “Do you love yourself?” and “How much do you love yourself?” I also remember, very clearly, the preacher saying, “How can you love your neighbor if you do not first love yourself?” Wait… what?! Read that again. Hmmm…. This seemed somewhat counterintuitive to what I had always been taught, which was to think of others first. I had to roll this around in my noggin a while but realized I couldn’t argue with that logic. As a matter of fact, it is a commandment/directive straight from Jesus. To do one and not the other was to be only partially obedient; or, alternately, partially disobedient.
Why was this so hard for me to process and accept? Maybe because I was taught to think of others first, practice self-sacrifice, not to be self-centered, etc., and those are not bad things when done in proper fashion. Maybe because I didn’t understand or learn how to love myself. And then there’s also the fact that I am a “giver.” I often place more value on others, rather than myself.
I struggled with those questions for a long time. Longer than I care to admit. I didn’t feel worthy. I didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel smart enough. I didn’t feel pretty enough. I didn’t feel accepted… respected… lovable. I didn’t feel I deserved good things. I didn’t feel that loving myself was right because it could be seen as being self-centered. And, whatever other reasons I could find for whatever particular day it was.
This sermon topic was pivotal for me. I had to love myself first. Well… I didn’t think I had ever really thought about that. I didn’t know if I had ever really loved myself. I wasn’t even sure I knew how or what that meant. But, I finally had permission (actually, a command) to love myself. So, I had some new areas to explore and learn about.
Now, this may sound strange but I kind of had to learn this lesson backwards… As much as I loved my neighbor, I had to learn to love myself just as much. As much as I thought of others, I had to learn to think of myself just as much. As kind as I was to my neighbor, I had to learn to be that kind to myself. I had to learn to respect myself as much as I respected my neighbor. I had to learn to accept myself just as I am, just like I accepted my neighbor for who they were. Two hard ones here… I had to learn to forgive myself like I forgave my neighbor. And, I had to learn not to judge myself, just like I did not judge my neighbor.
Through the years, I had to unlearn many things and learn a lot of new things. Things like: I am worthy. I am valued. I am more than what others think of me. I am smart. I am a good person. I make mistakes. I am not perfect.
Today, I still struggle with this at times because those old thoughts still try to rear their ugly head. I still have days when I don’t feel that I am worthy, lovable, or enough. I still tend to value others more than myself. When those days come, I have to remind myself of the lessons I learned. Lessons like, it is not wrong to love myself, be kind to myself, forgive myself or accept myself just as I am. Some days I need to be gentle with myself. It is ok to say “no” when someone wants to take more than they should. Boundaries are good. It’s ok to not accept what others think of me. I am learning that I am valuable and I am enough. Period.
I can still follow some of what I was taught (think of others, don’t be self-centered, be kind, etc.) but I also know now that I am commanded by God to love myself. And this needs to be a healthy, balanced love; not a love of self above all others or above God. A love that is caring, nurturing, forgiving, accepting and understanding. A LOVE JUST LIKE I SHOW MY NEIGHBOR!
Please understand that I am not a counselor, therapist or preacher. I am just someone sharing a positive message and some things that helped me begin to learn to love myself. Hopefully it will help someone else too. I realize this is not going to be meaningful to everyone but, for the few who need to hear this, I hope you learn to love yourself.
PLEASE NOTE: If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, please call 911 or go to you nearest emergency room. You can also call 988 to talk to a professional who can help you. There ARE people who care about you and want to help you!
Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself. A simple act of kindness may not make a difference in your world, but it may make a world of difference for someone else.
Take care, friend!
Rebecca